We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Hope is an Animal

by Alix Alixandra

supported by
roppa91
roppa91 thumbnail
roppa91 An amazing maiden album by Alix with perfect execution of vocal performance and instrumentation. Real creativity tackling social issues, issues of the mind, heart, and soul. More than worth a listen.
/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      £6 GBP  or more

     

1.
Hold out your hands, I’ve got a bullet and feather Hold out your hands, I’ve got a gun and a dove And I’ve got a feeling one flies faster than the other And I’ve got a feeling one needs a little love And I know one is grey and the other Is the colour of the clouds that make the rain come I’ve been looking for God, I’ve been looking under rocks The scales have fallen from my eyes I’ve been looking for God, I’ve got a question or two to put to him And I don’t think he’s got the answers that I want Hold out your hands, I want to see your fingers I want to know exactly how deep you’ve been digging Were you looking for gold? Were your diamonds stacking up? Did you ever think to quit when you first struck blood? {Chorus} I don’t think my prayers are working I never learnt to get on my knees for that And I don’t think that God can hear me Above the riot we’re all making Hold out your hands, I’ve got a bullet and a feather Hold out your hands, I’ve got a gun and a dove I know one costs more than the other And I know for some cost equals worth And I know one is doomed And our obsession with the other will cost the earth {Chorus}
2.
My love is reading my poetry, I’m trying not to read his face It isn’t fair for me to ask him what he thinks of it It’s just my heart upon the page And it’s been so long since I got a single word out of myself Like I’ve been keeping secrets from my hands My love is on the bathroom floor, he’s been drinking without me I was too busy being haunted by the ghosts of my life before him And his fever needs breaking, and I need holding in My love pushes the bedsheets from him down onto the ground I could not bear to leave the window open, I was scared of falling out And his fever needs starving, and I need holding in But I don’t need your sympathy but I’m begging for it anyway Rage is not the opposite of love And I am trying to be kinder than what I’ve overcome My love is speaking in tongues, but I know just what he means I am whispering my love to him and my kisses are sealing it in My fever is raging, it’s the rage I’m holding in And I don’t need these stones but I’m carrying them anyway Hope is an animal that I have to keep warm And I was built from stronger stuff than the sand I’m standing on I don’t need your sympathy but I’m begging for it anyway Rage is not, it’s not the opposite of love And I am trying to be kinder than what I’ve overcome I don’t need these stones Hope is an animal And I was built from stronger stuff So I am trying to be kinder
3.
There’s a box of packing materials In the middle of my living room floor Guess what? I didn’t order it and I don’t know who sent it And it feels a little like a cosmic joke How much worry can fit in a cardboard box Twelve by ten by eight? And how much does it cost to send a cardboard box Carrying so much weight? The irony is the amount of space it takes up On my living room floor I have to step around it, it’s getting in the way I really didn’t need the metaphor How much guilt can fit in a cardboard box Six by five by three? And how much does it cost to send a cardboard box Quite that heavy? There’s a box of packing materials In the middle of my living room floor Guess what? I didn’t order it and frankly I don’t want it Would you please collect it if it’s yours? How much anger can fit in a cardboard box Two by two by two? If I could get it all to fit, even if I could post it Who would I send it to? There’s a box of packing materials In the middle of my living room floor
4.
Long Halls 07:19
When I dream, I picture myself walking long, long halls The sun has set, everyone I love is safe, every door I come to is closed They tell us broken boys are beautiful, they will be mended with gold Touch their scars like ribbons, they are as soft as me on a bad day My feet make no sound, my breath is silent, in – out – slow My hands are heavy, I carry more than I can bear, there is the smell of smoke in the air They tell us broken girls are easy targets, better dancers, try a little harder They tell us broken girls grow up to be mothers, slaves to one power or another I reach a crossroads, the sun is rising in the east, a shadow stands behind me I could turn to face it, I could turn to see a mirror, I could raise my heavy hands They tell us broken boys grow up to be lovers, or die while they are still pretty They tell us broken girls never grow up to be women, stay fractured, never whole I start running, I hear footsteps behind me, slow but gaining ground I shake my fists, I am too heavy, the halls go on and on and on and on and on
5.
You’ve got Eliot on the phone, he says he knows how you've been feeling How you’re infinitely gentle even when you're suffering I look out of the library window, I see the room reflected back The steam from my tea reveals words on the cold glass The valley tempts me downwards, but the train will take me home You are the only thing pulling me north Cause’ I don't know where I’ve been, but I’ve been away so long Out of love, out of my mind, getting good at getting it wrong {Chorus} I know I’ve been too much, too many times A point on a map drawn over and over No man is a city, except for mine Kiss me beneath constellations I have made you my destination No man is an island, except for mine Fall in love with me again Oh, let’s be frantic like the first time Fall in love with me again Oh, let’s be frantic like the last time There are things I’ll never say, there are fears I’ll never speak Like how you may wake up in the middle of the night to look at me And not see a woman that you love, just some woman that you know I can’t pretend that isn’t how these stories sometimes go {Chorus}
6.
This Love 04:38
I used to wonder where you were when you were looking out the door I used to wonder what it takes to bring a man like you home I can’t be quiet like an empty house, but I used to try I can’t be cold like an empty house, but I used to try We’re all figuring out what it means to come home We’re all figuring out what it means to be loved And I don’t know how much love you can take But I’ve got so much more to give I don’t know how much love I can take But don’t stop now you know I’m not going to break Cause the world is quiet like an empty house without you The world is cold like an empty house without you And there is only poetry in the things that make me cry The blue is not confined to the sky The world is quiet like an empty house without you I still wonder where you are when you’re looking out the door But now I know just what it takes to bring a man like you home It doesn’t take a lot to know what’s going on in my mind You read me like a book and I’m glad you never took your time And I don’t know if there’s a limit to the love that you can take But I’ve got so much more to give And I don’t know if there’s a limit to the love that I can take But don’t stop now you know I’m not going to break Cause this love fills up all the little spaces All the little nooks, all the little crevices
7.
You and your beautiful things You and your beautiful eyes You and your music No stranger to beauty You and your beautiful things You and your beautiful hands You, pouring the drinks As the universe expands I wish I could hold onto the gentle in you To remind you that it’s there The night you sang to me as I slept You have never been as beautiful as then You and your beautiful things You and your beautiful skin You and your art No stranger to beauty I wish I could hold onto the gentle in you To remind you that it’s there This world would have you throw it all away You and your beautiful things You and your beautiful heart There’s nothing between you and the air No wall between you and the world I wish I could hold onto the gentle I could hold onto the sweetness I could hold onto the kindness in you To remind you that it’s there I wish I could hold onto the gentle in you To remind you that it’s yours That it’s yours
8.
Hopeful Twin 04:45
That hopeful little twin of mine That hopeful twin of mine Everyday we wake up at the same time But only one of us can get out of bed on the right side She wears a lot of masks that twin of mine She knows exactly what you like And she’s such a fucking teacher’s pet And that really makes me sick Because she really thinks that she can change the world With one good deed at a time But what she doesn’t know is how little I care Or how much I can hold her back Cause if you really cared about her You would show her all of her mistakes And if you really cared about her You’d prove how cynical the world really is And if you really cared about her You’d show her how little difference her choices make And if you really cared about her You would take all of her guilt You’d take it all away That hopeful little twin of mine Naïve to a fault You know she really thinks that love can save a life Or that good things come to those who wait And if you really cared about her, you would put her straight
9.
I think you changed when you fell in love I think you lost some of your pain I think you wore your pain like a badge of honour I think you think it gave you strength I think you hated her for making you happy A sad young man is far more intriguing Your poetry lost all of its sadness You made do with smiles instead of weeping I think you left her so you could wallow in regret I think you clawed back some of your pain I think you wore it like a blanket, like a shroud I think you know it made you weak I think your art may take a darker turn I think that you might even sell a few originals I think you’ll stop washing the paint from your hands I think you’ll start smoking again I think you’ll shout at your mother You’ll say she does not understand I think you’ll lay all of the blame with your father You always do, every chance you ever get I think you’ll live angry and alone You’ll never love to the same extent of your soul I think she’ll be okay, I think she’ll love again Better than you I think you changed when you fell in love I think you lost some of your pain I think you wore it like a badge of honour I think you think it gave you strength
10.
Four out of twenty-six ain’t bad This could be a list of my favourite words Today I am pulling apart my notebooks I’m looking for the poems that got stuck between the pages Today I am poetry in a two-chord melody Cause I’m a fuck up in a dress, yeah I’m your best friend at best At worst I could be a friend with benefits, without that many benefits really I’m more a hindrance to your inner peace And I came too late for Beat Happening They’d already beat happened And I came too late for The Mouldy Peaches They’d already been composted And I was always too tall To be the cute one in the squad And I was always too loud To be the quiet one you’d have to watch out for Cause I’m a fuck up in a dress Yeah I’m your best friend at best At worst I could be a friend with benefits Without that many benefits really I’m a hindrance to a good night’s sleep And how many constellations do I have to get tattooed on my body Before I’m a lot less like a woman and a lot more like the night sky? And how many lyrics do I have to get tattooed on my skin Before I’m a lot less like a woman and a lot more like a playlist? Cause I’m a fuck up in a dress, yeah I’m your best friend at best At worst I could be a friend with benefits, can’t think of any of the benefits really I’m a hindrance to your inner peace Four out of twenty-six ain’t bad This has been a list of my favourite things Today I am poetry in a two-chord melody I am the poems that got stuck between the pages I’m a lot less like a woman and a lot more like the moon

about

My debut album, featuring songs written over the last 5 years.
A long time coming labour of love.

credits

released April 30, 2021

Recorded, mixed, and mastered by Oliver Cobb.
PR and merch sold by Coat Rack Records.
Polaroids and art by David O'Hanlon-Alexandra
Booklet printed by Anvil Consulting, CD duplication and digifile printed by Disc Jugglers.

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Alix Alixandra Newcastle Upon Tyne, UK

North-East based singer-songwriter. Accompanies herself on ukulele and guitar. Sings about love, life, politics, and cardboard boxes.

contact / help

Contact Alix Alixandra

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Report this album or account

If you like Alix Alixandra, you may also like: